440: Satisfaction - In depth
MORE FROM DOUG MONKS aka DOUG MCCAIN:
Like all of us, I have so many stories over 30 years that I could write a book.

Since I don't have time for that, Here are a few of the best....

1970 - WJAT, Swainsboro,Ga..On the air one Saturday afternoon and my wife comes by and we get into an arguement over her housekeeping abilities. Spots are playing and I needed to intro a record so I take a break in my yelling, put on the headphones, intro the record, slap the mic switch off, take off the headphones and continue yelling at her about how the house is never clean and how I never have any clean underwear. When I get through she storms out and I turn and notice that when I slapped the mic switch off, I missed. THE MIC HAD BEEN ON THE WHOLE TIME! For the next month people were asking me if I had on clean underwear.

1971 - WEAS, Savannah..AM/FM combo. Studios were located in one of those old buildings in the historic district. Steps led up to the main entrance on the second floor and studios were on ground level. It was a beautiful Spring day so I had the door to the street open enjoying the weather. I was on the air in the AM and the FM was automated. I needed to go to the men's room so I intro'd a record (Hello Darlin/Conway Twitty) and walked to the FM to hit stop on the automation cause I had to put on the news after the current song ended. I went upstairs to the men's room and when I came back down the stairs I saw a HUGE snake (Boa)laying at the bottom of the stairs. I freaked! I sat on the stairs and started yelling HELP! cause I knew the door to the street was open. Meanwhile the record is over and you can hear the stylus bouncing off the label on the AM and the automation stops on the FM. So I'm sitting there yelling while both stations have dead air. About 5 minutes later this 300lb guy walks in yelling "Tiny, Tiny, Tiny (then sees his snake) and says There you are you bad girl". Then he picks up the snake, slings it around his shoulders, says to me "sorry" then turns around and walks out! I went back on the air and explained what happened and the good people of Savannah never let me forget it.

1973-WERC Birmingham, AL...Production studio and Air studio butted up against each other separated by a wall of glass. I'm on air reading news. I notice movement so I look up and there is the previous jock (Jay Michaels) standing on the production desk masturbating not more than 3 feet in front of me. (Thank God for the glass) Well needless to say, I'm gone. Laughing so hard all I can do is dump into a jingle /record in the middle of a news story about a double murder. But, the story doesn't end there. We all know about payback so the very next night, (Timing couldn't have been better) He is reading news while I'm in the men's room. I'm standing at the urinal and right beside me is a shoulder high open window. While doing my thing a pigeon flies in and lands on the window sill. Thinking quickly I reach up and grab the pigeon, run into the studio and place the pigeon over Jay's shoulder and right on top of the news he is reading and let go. The pigeon starts flapping and the copy flies everywhere, the bird bounces off that big window and flies out of the room.

Like me, he's gone and another newscast is blown. When we went in to lobby to try to find the bird we saw pigeon shit inside the baby grand piano and dripping down the face of the Western Union clock.

1987-WVOK Birmingham, Al...On a Sunday afternoon I'm supervising a just out high school jock in training when a natural phenemenon occured. While in the other room I hear him telling the people of Birmingham that there are 2 suns setting in the western sky. "I don't know how to explain it folks, but, if you'll look towards the west you'll see 2 bright red suns, side by side". I run into the studio to see what in the hell he's talking about and to my astonishment I see that he has not noticed that the big picture windows surrounding the studio are double paned with the inside glass slightly sloped inward so when you look at it at an angle you see reflections. HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD SEE IT! I think he was so embarrassed he never came back.

-30-

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